Friday, December 22, 2006

not again

i am at work just typing away at my computer when all of a sudden my bottom pointy tooth is loose. i automatically freak out because permanet teeth shouldn't be loose, but i don't tell anyone about it. i move it and it comes up and then down and i try to keep it down with my tongue. didn't work. it came out. and i held it up. it's root had decayed in my gums. i felt around the bottom of my mouth and i felt the next tooth was becoming loose. i just started bawling and the girls at work asked me what was wrong and i just held up my tooth. my boss was like, that happens to me all the time... and i said, no it doesn't all your teeth are in place.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

killer whale time

I was at this shelter of sorts with a few of my high school friends, the only one that stood out was my friend Leah McGaughy, now Alton. Whe and i were waiting on the band to start playing. We were just chattin it up, it was really hot and humid. When the band came in, it was our other friend from high school, casey anderson and her husband clint culberson. She played piano and he played guitar and sang. She had short hair, bangs and a handband on. They played, Leah started to do the cha cha line and started taking us around this shelter, turns out it was casey's house from high school with one exception, every room had beautiful, expensive blue tiles on the floor.
The next thing i remember is going outside with leah, casey and clint and we were walking around in this amazing rain forest, everything was SO SO green and sticky and hot, when we saw roller coaster tracks. we waited for the coaster to come along and sure enough it did. They stopped pedaling the coaster (that's how it was powered) right at a weird 90 degree turn, 90 degree turns are no good with jungle coasters. Cedric the Entertainer and my friend Natiya from 6th grade were on the coaster. We talked like it was no big deal. Casey then pointed down and said, "let's go there!"
There happened to be a canal of sorts, it was the craziest blue green sea EVER, it was a skinny canal that lead to the big sea. Cedric and i ran down and jumped in and i saw a white fish swimming towards me, it scared me and i said, "i hope i don't get stung by a jelly fish" Cedric said to me someting along the lines of, "don't worry about it, we get to the big blue sea and we can still be physical." (the still be physical part he said for sure).
next thing we knew all these fish started coming through the canal which now ran under a bridge. This tiny airplane, about the size of a dog, came through and came up right to me - this plane had organic features, like eyes and a freaking tail, but these things were still metal. Then a white dolphin came up to me, who had sort of a cleft palate of sorts and started nudging me like a cat. He was gorgeous. i spit water then he spit water and we laughed. then a killer whale came through, i tried to spit water at her, but no go at the mimicking me. She made me uneasy though because she was so big!!

it went on and on, but there was something with a baby on shore who was holding like a fairy fish and when the killer whale went to see her, she dropped the fairy fish because shewas scared and then casey had to go change the baby's diaper.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Jerkface


I had a dream that I decided to quit my job but I didn't have a new job lined up. The only thing I could think of to do was substitute teaching. Since I had already been a substitute in the past I thought I would just be able to call and start getting jobs like I used to. When I called the sub service there was a recording that told me I was not welcome to be a teacher any more because several students had complained that I emotionally abused them.
Am I that mean?

white swans = beauty and pain and barbara streisand = beauty and tears

i woke up in this very dark, distint room; there were angles and curves to the walls and ceilings. it was day time, but andy and i had sheets up on the windows, i suppose for optimal sleeping time. but i woke up, andy was still sleeping. i looked around the room, there was one bed and another cot of blankets on the floor. For some reason, i just knew that andy was living with jake and jonny. So, i walked into the kitchen and jonny was cleaning out the fridge, throwing away slimy and moldy things into the trash and jake was screaming at him about something. i stayed out of it; i did, however, did walk out side on this balcony thing that led to stairs. (side note, this apartment was not classy, i say balcony because i don't know what else a patio outside a door on the second floor could be).
now outside, i look up in this tree and there sat the most beautiful swan i had ever seen: EVER. OUtside was so vivid, everything was the greenest green. I said, "you are the most wonderful thing i have ever seen," as just a rhetorical thing and she answered back to me, "you think so? jake doesn't." i felt surprised that she answered, but it seemed normal. She flew away, and i screamed, "can you go sit in that tree at 3:00, my friend would love to see you." She obliged. Did i mention she was glorious?!
i ran inside just really excited, jake and jonny were still fighting and i was trying to tell them about this swan. they didn't listen to me.
later, my art teacher from high school was driving me around with a bunch of people i can't currently place. we drove by that tree and some guy in a uniform pulled out this skinny gun and shot her. i started screaming for him to stop the car and crying crying crying.
we stopped at this like rest area place, it was all pink inside with a bed... i kept looking at that tree and feeling a huge sense of guilt because i asked her to be there, and now some idiot shot her. crying to beat hell.. so i did what any girl would do, i stuck my head out the door and started screaming for barbara streisand from the bottom of mylungs, just screaming her name. and here she came running with a baby in tow. She finally got to me and hugged me and listened to me sob and cry about how it was my fault. she held me close and let me cry, like any dream barbara streisand would.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

jc penney mall monster/outer space disaster


So there was this dream I had, which I liked so much that I said to Matt (in real life, though not vocally, but through email), "Matt, make me a member and I will tell you my dream!" And then I waited like days and days to get around to it, and now I have forgotten very important plot points, BUT STILL, I will tell you my dream. So hearken your ears, lift up your eyes and turn your hearts towards mine. Because this dream was a pilot, directed by God, and we're hoping it gets picked up next fall.

The show began in a shopping mall, which was fun, because I haven't been in a mall for a while now. It was a pretty sweet mall, too, in that it was an indoor mall, but there were no actual doors on the entrance-ways, just giant open spaces allowing wind and flowers and sunlight to mix with the people and the persons and the boys and girls. And also a huge atrium in the middle of the mall with birds flying in and out and trees and branches for birds and doves and boys and girls to rest on. Plus, there was absolutely no bird poop anywhere, which speaks to the awesomeness of this mall. Good job, janitors!

I wasn't shopping though; I never do that much in malls. Only on the internet. At the time, I was trying to find this one particular exit, which opened up to a grassy knoll. I have no idea where everyone parked, but it wasn't around the mall. Instead, the mall existed in a completely residential zone. Outside this particular doorway was a soccer field, with a high jump area on the side closest to the mall. There were a bunch of people next the to high jump area, wearing shorts and t-shirts and cheerleading uniforms and generally having a good time. Ben that worked in the HC library Barnes (thanks Erica!) and Kate Scott were there, and they came over to say hello. This was a pleasant surprise, as I had not seen them in three or four years. At some point, Adam Bouse suddenly showed up, and started telling us jokes. I can't remember any of them, but they were mostly David Letterman quality -- there were chuckles, but not guffaws, you know?

And then all hell began breaking loose from, you know, hell. And other hot places. Like my bathroom.

I ran back into the mall, for whatever reason I can't remember. It was darker inside now, even though it was still daylight out, and the indoor entrance to the JC Penney or Marshall Fields or whatever (you know, one of the anchor stores) had turned into the mouth of a monster that looked like one of those Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, only more gigantic. I was holding onto someone's hand real hard but I couldn't hang on and they got sucked into the monster's mouth. It was pretty bad all around. Then someone punched whole in the wall on my right and all the air rushed out through this hole. That was when I realized we were in outer space. And that the mall was a big spaceship. And it all made perfect sense.

So this one guy on the other side of the hole yelled at me to jump through, and it seemed like a really good idea, so I did.

After jumping, I was standing in a big yellow and white room with the guy/stranger. It was like an airlock on the outside of this ship, or one of those pressure chambers they put deep sea drivers in so that they won't get decompression sickness or the bends, except very bright, like the Wonkavision room in the original Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder. So the stranger said we needed to wait in the room until we got rescued. At first, that sounded like the best idea ever. Then I felt we needed to get out of that room right away. He said, "No." I said, "Yes." (I don't recall much dialogue from the dream.) Somehow, I was able to pry open one of the walls like one would an elevator door....you know, I just stuck my fingers in and it opened up. The stranger stayed inside and I left.

And now I'm on the moon, or at least a planet like the moon. The mall/spaceship was still there, but surrounding it was a gigantic carnival/bazaar/farmer's market, with games and booths and little markets of vegetables and breads and meats hanging on twine. But most of them were empty and unmanned, and kind of spooky. Adding to the spookiness were gangs of teenagers, who were wandering around at random, like myself, confused by the new surroundings.

After walking for a couple of minutes, I saw a cop and a school principal and a couple of kids from that Degrassi show on The N, and they were talking about how all the adults were dead. The school principal and the cop were very young, so I guess they didn't count. And apparently, I was a teenager again, too. So we started talking about ways to run the town, while standing on a moving sidewalk like the ones in the airport, and we talked as we moved around the mall/spaceship on the sidewalk. Though no one mentioned it, we all knew that the JC Penney monster might come back and attack us at any moment. Also, someone kept mentioning something about badges. Like, "If we had badges, none of this would have happened." Or "If we had badges, things would go much smoother." I don't know, exactly. And that's all I remember.

I really wish this were a TV show, because it was a pretty good pilot, all-in-all. I wish I remembered more from the beginning, before the birds and the trees and boys and the girls, but it was really vague until I got to the mall's atrium. Maybe I should have a prequel someday to clear things up. We'll see how it goes.

where are we - separately

andy and i were in a store very similar to hobby Lobby or michaels looking at crafty things when all of a sudden, i don't really remember anything but being dragged away. then nothing for a bit. except that after a while i woke up in this house. a strange house that i had absolutely no knowledge of... i had a white t shirt on and my favorite sweats, the floors were all wooden and it was early evening, as i could tell because of the way the sun was shining in the windows. everything was very mysterious and i had no idea where i was, where andy was or anything. i walked around in bare feet being really afraid. i remembered that i had my cell phone, so i called andy and asked him where he was, he sounded very confused and he replied that he had no idea.
i remember feeling very confused and afraid.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

So Tasty!


My wife wanted me to post this, so others could revel in the sheer madness that consumes her dreams:

She was at a party, and there were finger-foods & other munchies there. There was shrimp cocktail, which looked good to her, so she went to grab one. But there, as the "shrimp" were several Teen Queens (Hillary Duff, the Olson Twins, etc.) posing as the shrimp. My wife looked at their tiny little features and began to wonder if she should feel bad for eating them, but decided it was okay because they were so delightfully crunchy!

I'm gonna sleep with padding on from now on....

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Bahhhbara

So I had this dream that me & a young Barbara Streisand (why Barbara Streisand was in my dream, I have no effin' idea... I haven't seen a photo/show/movie with her in it lately and I haven't thought about her in any way/shape/form.... like, ever) were quite the item... but it turns out the only reason she was famous was because her dad was Eric Clapton.

Apparently I had connections.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006



ANOTHER LUCID DREAM FAILURE

- Weather man said to watch out for yeast infections, due to the cool temp. and high winds.
- Family members and I caught a ride with a mentally challenged man while my mom questioned that he was allowed to drive.
- Family & I visited a church where my sister attempted to request a hymn but realized they had Mormon hymnals and all the familiar hymns had the word "mormon" inserted instead of other important words.
- Wife decided to teach Sunday School but only had enough handouts for half of the kids. In an attempt to get copies made, I transformed into some rubber bands, causing the pastor's wife to believe (apparently it was just the amount she had been looking for) and then presumably make us some copies. But apparently she didn't because:
- I turned into a bat and was flying around to try and make copies/locate a copier. But all my bat-brain could think was "Flies. Flies. Flies." As in houseflies. So I flew around thinking about catching flies and didn't get copies made. But all the kids had disappeared anyways.
- Wife became my lucid dream "trigger" when someone implied she was with another guy. I knew that we were married, so somehow that alerted me that I was dreaming. But all I did was lay on a piano keyboard and then try to fly (as a human this time) around a room and through some plate glass windows.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The Dreams of the Weekend


This wasn't in my dreams but some snakes were. Just wanted everyone to have to see this picture.

Alright, so Friday Saturday and Sunday I had crazy dreams.

Friday I dreamt that my family was going to fake Stacy's death. I mean really really big time. Stacy was even going to be lowered in a casket. We were plotting it for what I suppose was a good reason but you never know in my dreams. We had a story for how she died but I can't remember it but at the funeral we had an open casket. Stacy was laying in there and some old guy said some really nice and funny things about her and she started to giggle a little and I ran up to the front and closed the casket so people wouldn't hear. But I was laughing too. It wasn't a creepy death dream at all, it was more like a suspense plot bank heist movie dream. We were in this wooden white room and alot of the dream I was watching the dream from the ceiling. I think we pulled it off.

Saturday I dreamt that I had to go on this road trip to California, then Istanbul, then like somewhere else dumb, but we drove the whole way. I just realized that I have alot of dreams where i'm at this overpass in the country and there's this big tree and like three roads and it's green and beautiful and on a hill where i can't tell what's coming around the corner. I'm just standing in the grass not driving. It's peaceful but it's nothing, you know. Anyway, the dream included lots of maps we used to figure out where to go. My dad and I drove to Cali. Then we got there and he stayed and I drove back alone. Then I went to the mall when I got back here and it was a huge dark stone mall with tons of escalators and tall tall storefronts. Also there was a kiosk in the middle where I had to wrestle someone. It was Jon Amos Caley. We wrestled for like 2 hours in singlets representing our high school and nobody won. It sucked and was weird. Then some people drove with me to some green place on the map in scandanavia or something and we sat in some grass and then we were driving to istanbul and I woke up.

Sunday I dreamt that I lived with my cousins, as kids, in Uganda. Uganda was going to become Communist and dangerous in like 3 days and we lived on the African plains in a nice house that looked like Suburbia. There was a dried out garden and a field outside the house and there were several places that looked like strings of black hotdogs that I thought were water buffalo's poop. Well I walked up to one of them and I jumped and floated about 2feet off the ground for like 2 seconds because it was a cobra. All the poops were cobras. I could run and jump and float slowly just far enough to where I was out of reach of the cobras. It was like princess in super mario 2. Then, when i was out of that field, we went and found all this communist propaganda in some building. It was stuff from China and the Soviet Union from back when they did all those posters and stuff. They were going to spread it out in Uganda to become Communist. I woke up.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

confessions are worth 1000 words


lately, my dreams have been not remembered. however, 2 have stuck out.
i have had a handful of inappropriate dreams in my life.... one about a friend of my fiances... okay, but i'm not about to go into details here, i bet you all are saying THANK GOD. but i must confess, in the past 3 weeks or so, i've had 2 extremely inappropriate dreams about the one and only dr. shepherd aka patrick dempsey.
i apologized to andy already. but.. there you have it.

can you believe it?


me neither.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

So many new dreams...aka Coming Clean

So I've had at least one dream every night, it seems, for the past two weeks. Many involving things I hadn't experienced before marriage. Also involving people that weren't sleeping next to me so I won't talk anymore of those.

I've also been sitting up and going crazy in the middle of the night whilst mostly asleep. Last night I had a dream where I had to marry our secretary from work and it was soooo weird. Two nights ago I jumped out of bed because I thought I was late for my fantasy football draft. Amanda gets freaked out by how hard I sit up or get up out of bed at 3 or 4 in the morning totally dilusional. I've had dreams where someone was cutting their fingers off in the kitchen and got up to save them and realized I was dreaming about 10 seconds later and felt embarrassed. Amanda says sometimes I wake up and stand by the bed and just scratch my chest and look around. I'm weird. And it's only been two weeks so far.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

no, not that

andy broke my eye lash curler. and i was pissed about it. after he broke it, he even through it down.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

PaperEvilNinjaDiamonds

Hopefully that title will be better than this dream. I was watching some scene from a bad CG movie like Spy Kids but not Spy Kids, more Matrixlike or Kung Fu Hustle. This evil ninja dude came back to life and could fly and was wearing old timey jail garb. He was soooo going to get revenge on who killed him. He was also a sheet of paper. He could fold himself into all these different things. Anyway, I switched dreams later and was in this high class party/bar/casino/mall. It was the night before Phillips got married, but I'm not sure who to. Everyone was in tuxes and nice dresses. Jordan was sitting at a jewelry case which was also a bar drinking. I walked up to the bartender/jeweler and asked him, in front of Jordan, and asked him if it would make people feel awkward if I bought a diamond bracelet and some other gift for the bride. Jordan looked mad and I didn't know what to do. I hated my idea then and there. Bad dream.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Sorry Uncle Jesse



Alicia told me about a very difficult and confusing dream she had last night. She was hanging out with John Stamos and enjoying it a lot. At some point during their time together she felt that she had to tell him her true feelings, though. She told John that although she liked him very much, she liked Kirk Cameron more. I'm sure Uncle Jesse was devastated.

Mommy, wow! I'm a big kid now


I do not remember many details of my dream last night. I do remember that I was at a place much like the men's locker room at the Huntington YMCA. The shower area was filling with water like it was a huge bathtub. The only important part of this dream, though, is that in my dream I urinated.
Has anyone else ever had the experience of urinating in your dream and feeling extremely relieved only to wake up and find that you have just gone all over yourself and the bed? Well, I have. The last time I remember this happening was in the winter of 2002 as I slept on the couch in Abbie, Abby, Alicia, and Rachel's apartment in Forester Village.
I am proud to say that I have apparently outgrown this defect of the bladder. I awoke this morning to a dry bed.

Monday, July 17, 2006

stock time


i've been dreaming a lot about stocking grocery.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Judge Jackass

I dreampt last night that I was a lawyer for this lady that had to go to court for something scandalous (I don't remember what for). But even though I was her legal council, she decided to represent herself in the courtroom... so there I sat. But the judge was just a huge prick and had a cutting remark for everything that she said, and he had this sneer on his face the whole time. I felt bad for this lady that she was still paying me for my time & getting ripped on trying to do it by herself. Live & learn, lady.

flying


hi, i'm new to this blog. i would like to tell you about a dream i had yesterday afternoon.

i had a dream that i rented an airplane and heather and matt plett were gonna go up with me for a ride. we rented the plane but for some reason matt and heather were really rushing me that we had to hurry up. i was really nervous because i haven't piloted an aircraft since my crash 4 years ago. matt and heather were extremely nervous as well and it was very stressful. i started the plane and taxied quite nicely. the take off though was a little rough and matt and heather did a lot of screaming. we didn't make it off the ground so we circled around and went for it again. this time we made it. we went to somewhere and landed, had a snake, then came back because they were in a hurry. thats all i remember.

Friday, July 07, 2006

I wish

I wish I could remember more of my dreams, man. I know I dream all the time because I wake up thinking, "I've got to remember that." But alas, broken shards of the previous night's delusion are all that remain.

Take last night, for example. I'm positive I dreamed up a whole night's worth of tantalizing visuals... Fantasia-esque in scale of sights & sounds... and all I remember is kissing some black chick with huge lips.

These are the things I remember.

Monday, July 03, 2006

my dreams.. come true

cluster of mini dreams

right before sleeping.. that phase of middling around...

i had a dream that amanda carr was walking around without a shirt on.. no shirt, but definately a jean skirt. she was so tan it made me ill.

i had some other ones, too. but that's the one i remember.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

pokerbabyfamilystuff

Amanda and I were at something like a family reunion on the Plett side and we had like 3 kids that weren't ours we had to take care of. There were soooo many people there that I didn't know or did know that amanda and I and these kids had to stay in the unfinished concrete basement. One of the kids was this boy who was always trying to fight with me. So annoying of a 6 year old. Hitting me in the balls and laughing kind of kid. Anyway the other two were Lisa and Maggie Simpson. Lisa didn't talk much though. She was easy to take care of. Maggie would constantly crawl everywhere, and quickly too. She got on this elevator and crawled all over the neighborhood and we lost her. We were like whatever, someone will find her.

So then I had to go to this poker tournament with Jake, Paco, and Sabrina Cohee/my cousin Tara drove us there. We played for a long time and I got third place and won 20 bucks. Jake won the tournament and got 25,000 bucks and wasn't even excited. We were driving home and Jake was all bored and I kept looking at my 20 bucks like it was awesome. We drove into this small town where the reunion had moved to and they dropped me off. All the towns trees were dead and the sun was very bright but not hot. I got back to the houses the reunion was and everybody was outside having closing ceremonies in the backyard.

There were all kinds of people saying goodbye and giving speeches. My real family was there and so was this other homeless man who was also my dad. We were jokin around and then he had to give a speech and asked someone if they had some money. I got sooooo mad that I tackled my "dad" to the ground and yelled at him for asking for money from people he had just been hugging. ? My real dad pulled me off ole' fake dad and yelled at me for being so mean. I realized that I was an ass. The next thing I knew Amanda and I looked at each other and realized noone had Maggie. We found her nearly dead in someone's cellar next door. She was almost dead. We had some uncle/doctor who tried to help her. Our family held hands and prayed and I woke up with a major stomachache.

Friday, June 23, 2006

My dog, Satan

Alicia and I were at the San Antonio riverwalk but we couldn't figure out how to get to the lower level next to the river. We found a secret stairway/slide inside of a restaurant that took us where we wanted to be. Once we got there we started fighting over where we wanted to go. I walked away from her and went back up the strange stairway/slide while she stayed with her brother, who had joined us.
I was suddenly walking through a sliding glass door. As I passed through the door I realized I was inside my house but there was a dog sitting just inside on the carpet. I immediately knew the dog was Satan. I tried to scare Satan by yelling, "Get behind me Satan. Get out of my house Satan!" Satan replied in a classic deep Satan voice, "Get out of your own house, Mark." Now I felt screwed. Satan wasn't scared of me and he knew my name.
I woke up here probably because Satan was ready to pull me into the depths of hell. And I bet if that happens in a dream, it's happening in real life.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Indy Gymnastic competition

heather, sarah and i were at this gymnastics competition that the two of them were competing in. It was a big deal like almost the Olympics. Every one was stressed out because of one reason or another. I was because their routines didn't start until 10pm and i had to make it from Indy back to wisconsin before the next day because i couldn't miss high school. Otherwise i'd be truant. Sarah, who was slowly turning into marissa chittick, was stressed out because Heather stole her white body suit (you know the kind gymnastic girls wear).. on purpose. Sarah found me in the hall way and was crying crying crying crying that heather took it on purpose and she tried heather's body suit on and it as WAY too small. So, i thought it was my place, nay, my duty to find heather and right this wrong. i found her alright, talking on the phone.. she started running from me until i snatched her by the pony tail and forced her in the dressing room where sarah was trying to get this versace belt on over the skirt. magically, the body suit was now on sarah and heather was out of the picture. sarah started having drama with the skirt she wanted to wear.. and i started birthing a plan about going to a different high school.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

How the West was ONE

My friend Jayme Valentine from high school was a drug dealer. He shows up in my dreams fairly often. He was in a bad way, as he owed his clients something like $12,000 (for what???). So I was trying to give him some advice about how to get out of the predicament. I suggested that he offer an extra 'shipment' of drugs as a payment, since he alread had that commodity on hand, and its value was marked up to make him a profit. Later he turned into Jordan (my wife) and then I found four antique $5,000 dollar bills in a ziploc bag from the Hoppers couch cushions.
Also: There was a huge war/terrorist invasion/drug lord shootout and I was a member of this gang of characters from Rugrats or South Park or some other child cartoon character gang and we were defeating everyone because we were short and they were aiming too high.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

cats and pools then boobs and pools

i was walking down this back street in Farmland with my cat, Lydia, at around dusk. Lydia ran into this woman's yard. I was so upset about it. She had a pool in her yard that she must have just opened because the water was green with leaves and such floating around in it, but at the same time, the water was very clear. Lydia jumped in and the woman came out of her house. She was older, like 50 some, she had a raggedy pony tail a tank top on with no bra and shorts. She just stared at me. I looked down to the pool and Lydia was NOT SWIMMING; she just sank... and her eyes were wide open. I started screaming: "SWIM! LYDIA, MOVE YOUR LITTLE PAWS!!" she didn't. she sank right down to the bottom. I jumped in and saved her, brought her to the side of the pool and gave her infant CPR. She gave a little mew-cough and spit some water and i felt like the world had been lifted off my shoulders.
i had to tell andy.
so i started walking to where he was. i just knew the location kind of internally. i arrived and it was at bob and christy's home and they also have a pool. andy and maria (jordan's maria) were just chatting it up when i got there. maria was trying to convince andy to skinny dip with her. when they noticed me, andy tried to convince me that it was okay for us to be naked with maria. I went off like a damn bottle rocket... screaming that all he wanted to do was see her naked and that wasn't right. i called him names like a son of a bitch and mother fucker... and while i was screaming this, maria went and took off her clothes and came out on to the deck naked.

(so yes, i saw maria naked in my dream- and boy, was i pissed about it)

Monday, May 15, 2006

winsome and then some


Our basketball team was coached by my boss at work, and he and his wife took us all to this cool comics shop. They bought me this hugely oversized deck of playing cards with various knights and armed soldiers on the backs- die cut with swords sticking out the top,etc. I said that it was really nice but one of those things I'd probably never use, could I choose a comic instead?
They said I could. So I finally decided on a strange, foreign but awesome-looking title and ran it up to the register.
When the guy handed me back my book, I realized that I'd accidentally grabbed a leather bound, gilded edged copy of part of the Old Testament - bummer!

Also: there was a race through this intricate maze of dense framing (2-by-4s EVERYWHERE!!!) through floor after floor of a giant building under construction. when we reached the basement area, there was a hockey/soccer type game involving throwing bricks into a fireplace (complete with crackling fire). I was losing most of the earlier race but totally dominating the fire-brick game. There was also some coleslaw being thrown into the fire, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't worth as much as a brick goal.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

He Hate Me

Satellite feed to my brain, "Wreck shop, brain!"

So, last night I loved to be a hated hero. I had just moved to this small town where the only one I knew was this diving instructor at the school. I went to visit him at the pool and he started giving me the lowdown on the town. What was cool, where to be, go, hang. You know the routine. He tells me that the soccer team needs a new player because their star got hurt and he heard that I was pretty good. I told him that I hadn't played soccer for like 8 or 9 years and he said "Good Enough." So I went to the game which was at this huge stadium and the teams were awesome and thousands of people were there. I asked the coach if they needed anyone and he put a shirt on me and I played in my jeans for the town team which was like a pro team. Well, after I scored two goals and won the game for us, one of my teammates asked my name and if I wanted to be friends. I said yes. Everyone else was so mad that I was the new hero.

So, at the town meeting in the school/church/city hall building like in Hoosiers, half the people were saying, "We have to get that Matt outta here." The other half were like, "Naw, he's alright. Just let him stay, but don't talk to him." I could tell barely anyone liked me so I said, "What do I have to do, here?" They were like, "Play in the county football championship against the Barnthugs."(I think that was the other teams name, maybe not.) It was like a pickup game in someone's back yard with real tackling like when we were kids. Except all the other team was horrible mean criminal road warrior badass type tough guy biker dudes and the game was mostly about hurting our town's team. I said, "I'll do it." (I always want everyone to like me.)

We get to the game and the other team talked so much trash and cheated and took cheap shots all the time. Half our team was injured in the first half and I suck at football. Anyway, at one point I get thrown to and catch a pass and this guy with a spiked dog collar head butts me in the nose. My nose starts gushing blood like a faucet and I start laughing. This, in turn, freaks out the mean guy who also starts laughing because he's confused. Pretty soon I'm best of buds with their whole team and making jokes and everyone is having a good time.

Friendship wins. But I think the town still hated me.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Where've You Been?

Damn, son! Where've the dreams been. Nobody cares? I've got an excuse. I hadn't had any of note for awhile. Until this weekend. Whoa!

1. Amanda as a really responsible social weed smoker.
2. Flying in a hanglider videotaping other stunt guys doing like rocketman stunts with flying squirrels and monkeys bigger than me jumping from tree to tree.
3. On the Mayflower.
4. Standing on a 2 foot wide boat dock swatting jumping pirhanas out of mid-air as they increasingly grow in size and jumping ability.
5. Lots of hiking in purple places.

I'm so mad because I had like 6 dreams each Friday and Saturday night and didn't write them down to remember. They were better than those but, you know how it is.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

once

i had a dream i was engaged.



























o wait.

Friday, April 07, 2006

not zipper!

with my job, i become very attached to people.. and their pets:

i was in a vet's office with one of my clients who convinced me to take her there to put her cat, zipper, down. why?? i couldn't believe this. zipper is a great cat. well, she just didn't want to have to take care of a cat and her baby. so, i was so sad. i tried to tell her that i would take zipper and give him a caring, lovely home. She said this is what has to be done. the vet came in and instead of giving him the death shot, he just covered zipper's nose and mouth with a cloth that had chemicals on it. zipper didn't die right away. he was suffering. i was yelling for him to come to me so i could comfort his last minutes.. and he was mewing and staggering towards me.

i woke up crying.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Reality Dream

A few nights ago I had this dream I was back at school at Huntington and I was in this really sweet class. It was like The Amazing Race, except instead of flying to different countries it was like ride a unicycle through the MCA and other weird obstacle course stuff. Coach Turner was the professor and there were only 2 other girls in the class. Class met at midnight at the PERC and Coach gave us our instructions and the first one done got an A. I was smoking the other girls and somehow they kept getting closer and passed me, I knew they were cheating. When we got to the end I was really mad that they were such huge cheaters and I kept yelling at Coach Turner to show me the instant replay. I woke myself up I was so mad, but it was really cool at the same time and I wish it would've kept going.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

One To Remember

Ok, I have not posted often, but last night I had a dream to post...

First what should be noted about this dream is that while I was dreaming I kept thinking (IN THE DREAM) that I had to post this for Matt...weird enough.

So I was at Huntington, in Becker hall to visit Norrie, and they were having a Christmas party. But where Norrie's office should have been, there was this huge open office and Cathy, his secretary was there, but Norrie was not. There was a big Christmas tree and Norrie had made a cut-out of himself that was bigger than life size, but only out of paper board, so it was like a white silhoutte, and it was decorating the Christmas tree. And there were all these old ladies that were nicely offering me great desserts, but getting mad at me for making a mess if I ate them...

Then a limo roles up and I get in, I have no idea where I walked to get to the limo, but it was just right there. We instantly were driving through some ghetto where there were all these guys playing basketball on a street corner. My cousin got out of the car and started to play ball, while I just watched. Then I got in another limo and I was in there with a Character from Arrested Development. I think he was Uncle Jake, Martin Short with no use of his legs. Only he was able bodied when we started to drive. We stopped at this place that was like a pontoon ride at an amusement park, but it was like a little river in the ghetto we were still in, going over and between all the trashy buildings. An alligator attacked us, and I got away, but the Martin Short guy had his legs in the alligator mouth hanging from a building trying to get away when I woke up.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Wedding Crashers

Last weekend I was at a marriage conference with Amanda so this was on my mind.

I dreamed that a few of our friends were hanging out at a bar like Club Soda or something and decided that Amanda and I should just get married that afternoon. We totally agreed and Amanda put on this totally beautiful dress and we started to get ready for the wedding. We called our families and friends and were setting up this cool wedding in the middle of the main street in the town we were in. Jordan and Stephen were just playing with tablecloths and drinking wine all day but it was awesome. Some drunk lady in the bar congratulated us by giving us her wine bottle with 1/4 of the wine left and it was actually a really nice gesture in my mind. I gave that to Phillips too. People weren't showing up and strangers and pedestrians were sitting down for the wedding when we decided to have a parade to the wedding. It was sweet, there was a marching band, floats, Amanda, friends, not friends, tons of awesome. My ex-girlfriend showed up and I was actually nice to her and she was happy for me. Everything was so "whatever happens" and sick awesomely comfortable and beautiful. At one point the preacher and choir started the ceremony and me and Amanda yelled "Not yet." Our parents weren't there. Actually was the first happy dream I've had in a long time. Sooo happy.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Covert Ops


I stayed up way too late playing Splinter Cell with my brother-in-law one night last weekend, and my dreams reflected that. It was pretty sweet, actually, and this has happened to me before... I'll get entrenched in a game or movie and when I go to sleep, it's basically a continuation of what I've been watching the hours before. It was me, all my brothers-in-law, and a bunch of kids from my childhood, and we were at my mom & dad's house in Ohio. They have a pretty big yard & tons of trees & terrain, and we were all out there in the pitch-black night running around & shooting each other -- only we didn't get hurt. Everybody was acting like it did, though. Phonies.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Prankster or Prankee?

The DREAM Team
I was at this really busy Burger King and had a great idea. I figured out that I could just pretend to be going through the line to order and then just follow someone else as if I were with them- without ever ordering or receiving food!! What a sweet hilarious prank, right?
I pulled that one off with no problem, and as I'm walking out I see all these pro football players from 2 or 3 different teams eating in their jerseys, like when you see a high school team after a game.
When I got out to my car, I found these little "ammunition/explosive condiments" packets that were about the size of a ketchup packet. Inside were various sizes of ball bearings/pellets and gunpowder or fuses. I was too scared to open them and couldn't figure out who would have put them there.

:::warning::: breastfeeding ahead

i had a baby and the baby was a tiny, beautiful little boy. and i had to excuse myself from the living room of some unknown house to go and feed him. i went into this bedroom with a water bed and i didn't know how to breast feed babies because this baby was very new and somewhat unexpected. and there were difficulties until andy's sister came into the bedroom dressed as a huge dog. she started making my baby laugh instead of cry. and then she told me how to feed my baby.

the bedroom was a combination of tans, browns, creams and reds. it was comfortable..

Friday, March 10, 2006

Matt says, Aaaaaauuughh



Phillips and I were staying in this hotel that was like a sweet domed awesome expensive hotel. We were running from someone and I didn't know who or why but we were layin' low for awhile at the four seasons, I guess. We were walking through the inside courtyard when the ceiling came to life and turned into a tornado/thunderstorm and that was a sign that "the evil" was near. (This meant that what we were running/hiding from was coming). It was so scary. We started running out of the hotel in pure horror. Except that when we saw the entrance to the hotel the man was coming in. We both screamed and I grabbed a sword off the wall and swung it at the man who looked totally like Eugene Levy without glasses. I missed the first time and swung down onto his head the second time and sliced all the way through his body. He was made of styrofoam. We then realized he was like the Terminator in T2 where he heals himself in time. So I sliced him into like 12 pieces to buy us some time and ran out the door.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

erica says, where's my fiance's head?

so, i was in this beautiful country with rolling hills and a mansion on top. on the side of this magnificent mansion, there are loading docks (from the future) for jets. NOT, i repeat, NOT a landing strip.. loading docks. i realized i was engaged to be married and i started feeling very very happy. i started walking around with friends.. then i started sorta' flying and pushing off from the loading docks singing "i feel pretty". everyone thought i was so funny. then, i was automatically transferred to this room... lights were dim and there was my finace.. not andy and another girl. i saw my finace who is nameless try to kill my friend whom i don't know in real life... then.. she pinched off his head. she grabbed him around the neck with her hand and pinched once... deadly.
and there was blood everyone
and i was sad, but relieved that i didn't marry a man who almost killed someone.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

I need an ambulance, STAT


So last night I was back in my old hometown, and I was on a little league baseball team. The thing was, I was my current age, but all the other kids were small. Every team was allowed to have one "old" kid, and I was it for my team. So as we were waiting before our game to take batting practice, one of the other "old kids" (who was actually a good friend of mine from high school) crushed a ball over the right field fence and drilled a little kid in the face. They decided he had to go to the hospital, and for some reason, I was the only one in town who knew how to drive an ambulance. So, we loaded the kid up in the back, but then when we (my old h.s. coach and I) got in to take off, it was like we were looking out the back of the ambulance. We had to open the back doors (which were really on the front, as it was) to drive away. Turns out EVERYTHING on the ambulance was backwards. And we couldn't figure out how to turn the damn sirens on.... all we had were the flashing lights. So consequently, people weren't pulling over to let us drive by. I had to just put the pedal to the floor & ram through people. I was actually able to dodge most of them by swerving in & out of traffic, but I Grand Theft Auto'ed a few cars. When we got there, I just drove the ambulance right into the waiting room. They unloaded the kid, and he turned out to be fine.... when they brought him back out, he just had a scratch above his eye. And I finally figured out how to use the sirens as I was waiting.... and I woke up some old bag who was sleeping in the waiting room. When we got back to the field, it was gone and my high school sat in its place. And when we got out of the ambulance, my coach and the kid were gone and 3 of my co-workers got out. The ambulance was all tricked out and we had to go back to work. Got to pay for it somehow, I guess.

Friday, March 03, 2006

two mouth dreams

last night:

i was in this sorta' store with wood paneling walls -- me and dr. brautigam. we weren't together, it was just a coincidence that we were both there at the same time. we started talking about dusty, except the whole time my soul is filled with dread because my front right tooth is loose.. and just that one. and not just loose, grossly ready to fall out. it would move in place. finally, dr. brautigam asked me what was wrong.. and i grabbed on to it and pulled it down, in tact, completely out of my head.. it was like 4 inches long and at the tip top of the root, it was all decayed and weird. then, i tried putting it back into my head and that didn't go so well. the whole time i'm thinking, i wish i could find a dentist... then i started crying.

the other night:

i was at my dad's house, in the upstairs bathroom waiting on something. i didn't really know what. then suddenly i was in my old room at my dad's house sleeping. these two guys woke me up to go with them somewhere. i didn't know them, but i wasn't scared or nervous. another thing is, i could tell that they were gay together -- which was totally fine with me. and one of them, the one with blonde hair, asked me if i wanted to see his pet. so, i said yes. he opened his mouth and this huge centipede came crawling out his mouth.. it had long antanee and in all it was about 8 inches long. i asked him, isn't it too long to live in your mouth. he said no, its body just falls down his throat or it just curls up.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Aye Yay yi

So My sister and I were in a car following my mom in a car and we were going somewhere. My mom turned off on the wrong street and we had to turn around. Stacy and I were like, gosh, mom always goes the wrong way. So we turn around, and to get back onto the main street, there is a median like at the entrance to HC with the left side for people coming in and the right side for people leaving that street. My mom goes to the left and we're like, dang it mom, wrong again. We go to the right so we're next to her car on the other side of the median and we're yelling at her to turn right when we see this huge pickup truck coming straight at her car from the side and doesn't slow down and totally crushes my mom's car between the median and the truck. The pickup driver doesn't even care he just sits there expressionless not backing up while stacy and I are screaming all the cuss words ever at him that he just killed our mother. I get so pissed that I get out and walk over and punch through his window and grab him by the neck and pull his whole body out of the window and slam him down on the ground and punch his head into the street until the ambulance arrives. However, when I start to punch him I realize that I'm dreaming and have a huge guilt trip about killing this guy and also a feeling that I couldn't have punched through that window without it hurting like hell so I rewind my dream to the part where I get out of the car and I can't decide what to do except get more and more mad and conflicted, until I woke up.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

you're the only one who knows (slash) water whale stories

so, andy and i were at my grandparents house.. and all my family was there including my really old great grandpa. he was sitting on the green leather couch in a dark flannel shirt. except he looked totally weird to me. turns out, he was dead. actually, a ghost who was not his ghost... this ghost was tall and really dark, bald with long thin fingers. the catch is and the totally scary ass scary part is when he told me i was the only one who knew the ghastly secret. and i could feel devious plans being planned in his scrawny little bald head... and NO ONE would listen to me at all... NOT at all. then he whispered to me, "you're the only who knows"....

i woke up sweaty and scared.

then.. ((slash)) when i went back to sleep:

i was at dale hollow lake in tennessee with my grandparents, andy, my brother roger, and my dad ((who is dead in real life)) and we were trying to save a killer whale... and we were furiously running away from authorities on wave runners and we got to this certain point off of a dock thing... where the whale was waiting on us. an older version of joan rivers rolled the whale up and over the dock ((by herself)) and behind our wave runners ((i was on one with my dad)). we tied this blue and white rope around him and took off..with the whale trailing us. and i felt tense and stressed..

and then i woke up.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Dead Faces in the water

I was going with Phillips and Amanda to watch a beauty pageant of girls that went to college with us. We get there and everyone is sitting watching. We watch for awhile and realize we can't remember like anyone in the competition. So Amanda goes to get a program, right? When we look at it there are full page portraits of each of the girls on the left page and something about them written on the right page. The pictures are weird but beautiful dark "candid" portraits that I took of each of them in college on accident. Like I wasn't looking when I took the picture but I took all of them. Also everyone in the pageant was dead of some accident. And I had taken pictures of all of them. I freaked out and ran out to the parking lot to my car. I jumped in the trunk and slid down a hole that went to a weird different world that looked like Fraggle Rock.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Momma Didn't Raise No Fool


There was so much more before this section... I wish I could remember all of it. I actually woke up & was like, "Man, I've got to remember all this." But I guess some is better than jack-squat.

So I was running along these rooftops which were made of those red tiles you see out West or in Greece.... and I was making huge leaps and not getting hurt as I was going from rooftop to rooftop. Then as I got to the end of a line of rooftops, all I could see was the ocean and a little harbor with docks & stuff. So I landed on one dock in particular (without smashing it like all the rooftops before it), and there was a competition going on to see who could dive the deepest without being aided by oxygen tanks or any other equipment whatsoever. I was going up against these two absolutely smokin' chicks. We were all in the water, and one of them offered me a huge Subway sub meal deal right before it was my turn... but I knew she was up to something and I thought to myself, "I'm not falling for that one." I guess Subway has an adverse effect on depth-diving. Then I dove down feet-first and I was going so fast through the water that when I got to the bottom, I got stuck for a while. When I got loose & got back up to the surface, I watched the other 2 girls go, and I knew I'd won -- I hit the bottom of the ocean, after all. The one chick who offered me the sub confessed to trying to rig the competition by getting everybody full of food. But I forgave her and she fed me the sub anyway.

My First Dream Post

Actually in afghanistan I was having loads of sweet crazy dreams but i didn't have access or time to post. So this one is my starter. Its actually just a tiny dream I had as I was falling asleep last night and then got up to go the bathroom and lost it.

I was talking to my friend Jeemin who is going to the US with me and we were planning one of our speaking stops but instead this time we were planning some performance art. We were listening to Keith Fullerton Whitman (some ambient music) and I said, "yeah we could really have a lot of different colored lights here and maybe some water with this music." and then suddently we were in that little art gallery at Huntington College and acting it out. and she said that people could crawl into the middle of the room and it would be really dark except the water lights in the corner and then while the people listened to the music, her and me would, "walk around the room and make choices" as in we would both just be milling around and make a lot of decisions and this would the be the beautiful beautiful art peice that people would watch.

That's it. Sorry it was so short. I just think choices are really funny, and I want to actually do this now.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Boooooo!

I haven't had any sweet dreams lately.... I can't even remember having one for like 3 weeks. I'll try harder tonight, though, I swear.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Mouse-sitting

I was housesitting at our secretary Kelly's house who has three kids but everyone was on vacation. I get to the house with Mark Richard, who is helping me. We open the door and it's the crappiest place ever. There are mice everywhere jumping and kind of flying. There is a guy in a pile of full trash bags and he wakes up and says "What are you guys doing here?"
We're like, "Here to clean this hole up."
He says, "Kelly wouldn't want that."
We ask why and he goes on to say that these crazy mice are endangered and this is their natural habitat, a trashy house unfit for humans. We wait until she gets home after the weekend and when she gets there she seems embarrassed. Of the mess. She's like, let me clean up a bit. She moves like three paper plates and is like, "There, that's better." All the mice come and sit on her and it's totally sick.

Monday, January 30, 2006

3 scenes from 3 dremes


Fri: Jordan and I are watching Eminem perform at a county fair talent show-type setting. He's wearing this fuzzy tophat and doing this magic trick where his whole body is buried in the cement floor up to his neck, so that he looks like this little head creature and all the while rapping away. and then at the end of his song, he sinks completely into the floor, and all that's left is this circle of t-shirt material where his head had been. While everyone was distracted, i reached out and grabbed the circle with my foot (i must have been barefoot) and then felt guilty that i should give the shirt circle to Kristine, the sports intern standing next to me.

Sat: I'm just filling in for someone else at a tropical themed zoo/restaurant/snack bar/pet store which becomes a back hallway in my high school. a guy in a suit comes in the door carrying a woman in a red dress like he's carrying a bride over the threshold- but she's not really a girl at all- it's his machine gun in disguise. He shoots some people and I run outside and spray bullets all over what is now my high school parking lot but he only gets wounded and gets away.

Sun: There are some insurgents or terrorists or just bad guys attacking a cabin. so i run and dig myself underneath this car that's half-buried in gravel. There's one other guy hiding there, but he doesn't mind. then we are somehow inside the car which is a station wagon and is half full of gravel also. we just lay on the gravel and pretend to be dead and the guy next to me looks at me and it's Dwight from The Office. They don't catch us, even though they scraped off the sunroof to get a good look. and i think they were actually in the car, but we fooled them.

Friday, January 27, 2006

roof top bath tubs

The other night i had an amazing farmland dream.. if some of you may not know, my hometown is called farmland... in Indiana.

so,

i was walking south down north main street, right before the railroad tracks. to my right is the antique store and the penny candy store... and right in front of me is this old lady.. she's a mix between faye dunnaway and any stereotypical gardener granny.. straw hat and all. She had this huge horse with her -- it was a chestnutty color with an incredible long mane. there was no verbal interchange, but i knew she wanted me to ride this horse... he was a tennessee walker. (( these two things are significant, because when iwas young i would always fantasize about having a horse.. but never a brown horse and NEVER a tennessee walker.. always a white or black arabian)) i started riding this amazing horse north on north main. he turned down this side street where some crazy people.. and the horse was going to fast.. he got spooked and jumped really high on to the housetops.. where he couldn't get stabilized because there were bath tub like things on the roof for plants. this was unnerving because i was on a huge horse on a roof in bath tub like things.. until he jumped clear across the all the rooftops, landed on the railroad tracks and i rode him back to the old lady.

then i bought andy's old belt, the one that says 'senter daniel senter' on ebay.

The Saddest Bus only goes to the North Pole


Well, this is very weird, sorry my dreams are always so long. I don't know what the problem is. You WILL forgive me after this one, though.

Amanda and I had to stay a week at Jerome Bettis house the week before the super bowl. I for some reason didn't like him so I had to stay at his house with him and his family to see what kind of person he is. (Weird already because I think he's incredible.) Anyway, Tom Brady hated him too and had to stay with us. Supposedly New England was playing the Steelers in the Super Bowl and I HAD to pick who I liked and write a huge story about who I liked and why after the week.

Anyway, the house was not huge but if you went out of the front door it was sunny and warm and Amanda would sun bathe in the driveway. Out the back there were no doors only windows to see and it was an ocean with ice over it all chopped up and there were whales/monsters swimming under the ice with bumpy backs. It was really weird like the house was on the arctic ocean.

Anyway, they had a bunch of kids there that were staying with them, one was this weird white kid who was kind of like that kid from Sixth Sense, you know way too smart and grown up to be a real kid. Anyway, he kept talking to one of the Bettis kids and trying to convince him to do things for him or that he shouldn't. The son kept saying no and Amanda and I were in the basement watching them fight and the Sixth Sense kid stabbed him like twenty times with a dagger. We were soooo frickin' scared. I actually woke up at this point I was so scared...but I fell back asleep and resumed seamlessly.

We went upstairs to call the police and tell The Bettis' parents what had happened and the mom said Jerome had to go to practice so we waited until we got home and actually forgot about the whole murder for awhile. When Jerome got home we had totally forgotten about the actions of Haley Joel Osment, whatever his name is. We were eating dinner and Amanda remembered about the killing of a child we witnessed. We went downstairs and in the closet was the boy. Jerome was crying and asked us who did this. We told him it was the Sixth Sense kid and that he was crazy. Jerome carried his son up the stairs on his shoulder like he was asleep. Found Haley Joel and asked him if he had done it. He said yes and Jerome cried and Tom Brady was crying and we were all just bawling. Jerome forgave Haley and it was so beautiful and there was this instantaneous change in the kid like a demon left him and Haley started crying. Jerome adopted him and then Tom and Jerome had to go to play the Super Bowl. Tom told me, "You have to tell everyone about this man, please do not root for my team, write for the Steelers, they deserve it." As he was talking to me, I was looking out the back window and the ice was slowly melting and the whales were swimming away in single file. So so so sad. I felt like I was going to cry when I woke up.

Please root for the Steelers in the Super Bowl, even though they aren't playing Tom Brady.

This was one of the scariest and saddest dreams I have ever had.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Golden Apple Oil and Gas, Inc. (GAP J)

You should kick me off for this, but my dreams lately are so boring- I wish they were more like this beautiful spam email i just got from Kirk Burl (zatmwqetvf@012.net.il) which had a GIF attachment telling me all about a stock i should buy. But the body of the email contained:

yes sign tell
For close eat
I smoke clean
Which organise sit
But fall forget
search find ask
At draw can
not clean find
evening close cancel
no wait sleep
someone listen lose

So it's like a dream, right? In a way?

Ritz Bits

After two "unrevealable-type" dreams last night I woke up for a bit and looked at the clock and I'd been asleep for like an hour and a half. So I went back to the sleep world with high hopes and wasn't disappointed. Amanda and I were at this huge work dinner/party/wedding reception place, it was really nice, right by a river. We were eating some Reeses Ice Cream and watching people walk by the party out the window of this tent thing, not talking just watching and enjoying the peanut butter chunks. Then we saw this bear/dog on a leash followed by this little girl, about 7 or 8 years old. This dog was awesome, part Australian Shepherd, part Black Bear cub. It was like the size of a golden retriever and bounced every step it took. The girl was holding the leash so loosely because old beardog was walking/bouncing at the same rate, trained really well. Amanda said, "She is NOT going to be able to hold onto that leash the way she's holding it when that dog runs." I agreed but before I could say anything, she ran out to help the girl. So I was alone until my boss from work and our secretary sat down to finish Amandas ice cream with me, so I had to act like I liked my boss and we made small talk for a while until I pulled the "gotta go" card and walked off.

Then I was walking with Stephen and some random high school friend up the hill behind the reception up to this 8 star hotel/roofless movie theater/ weird water park. We went up all these escalators and there were walls all around of solid glass. I went the wrong way to the movie theater and was at the begging of a cave for underground porcelain 2 foot wide water slides, luckily there was a four foot glass wall that I climbed over so I could get to the theater. There weren't many people there yet but gradually tons of my friends and celebrities and some adults I know came in. Elden, Phillips, Jake, Senter, high school buddies, some punk kids with pink and green mohawks, the kid for Neverending Story, my cousins, and tons of others. I sat down and the movie started to play and everyone was talking and yelling. Phillips was sitting behind me and kept yelling to Elden, like 8 rows away, "Elden, have you seen this yet? Elden!" It was a frickin Battlestar Gallactica movie and I don't even know what that means, I've never seen one, but I was getting so mad because EVERYONE was talking during the movie.

When it was over everyone left and all these older women with swimcaps and olympic swimsuits came out and did like synchonized water sliding, that was the weirdest part.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Invaders! (Not actually a dream, more a question about dreams)

I know this is breaking the rules, but in general, does anyone else find their dreams frequently invaded by people you'd rather not think about?

I go through these spells, these dreams are my nightmares I suppose. Their is a stock group of people that are involved but the events are different enough. Sometimes they end up pointing out my mistakes or they want to make up or (and these are the worst!) they are simply a part of my life like they used to be, but usually it leaves me feeling awful.

Maybe I should consult a psychologist, but I'm guessing this has something to do with subconscious, stuff I'm not dealing with when I'm awake, etc. But it's not a surprise or anything, I always know what they mean or why they're in the dream. I mean, it's people I have/am dealing with, so I don't think it qualifies (technically) as supression...Anyone know what I'm going through?

(As an aside, this isn't always a bad thing. For instance, there's this guy I used to work with on the boats, Kenny, who I'm pretty sure I'll never talk to again, that plays brilliant roles in many many dreams I have, and there are others like him.)

i ain't got no hump

hello, all.
i'm new and a girl. apparently, girls ARE allowed to have dreams. so, bravo for that. also, many accolades to the starters of this dream-y bloggy snog. let's hope it continues and continues to grow and flourish. Amen.

my latest dream that i remember was incredibly beautiful and there are mixed up scenes like someone picked up a jigsaw puzzle and dropped the pieces everywhere ((even on my face)).

but, andy and i were in this mall of sorts. it was huge. it blew Mall of America to bits how big it was. there were trees in the middle and a huge cafe with nothing but windows looking at the ocean. andy and i split up in the mall, he was going somewhere and i needed something else. but i made sure to tell him to call me if he ate at that cafe. as i was on my way, all these guys were giving me their phone numbers. i took one. he had dark hair and he was in the camping section ((it should be noted that the camping section was really outside and he ws really camping)). then, i walked through the cafe and there sat andy with amanda, matt and some other girl. i started crying and dropped all my shopping bags. i wanted to tell him that i only took one phone number and he's eating/cheating on me. boo.

then

i continued dreaming that i switched bodies with a humpbacked whale. and it was amazing. i was swimming so fast. and i was only slightly worried that i would never get my body back, but then i remembered that that's just how things go.. and i would most certainly get my body back. so instead of worrying about me, i wondered about the whale because i have gone swimming before and i know how to walk, but the poor guy can only swim.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006



This dream is something very weird and embarrassing (kind of). I was travelling with some friend and we stopped at some hotel one night. The hotel, like most in my dreams, was very communal, very dorm-like social-like. Doorways open, people being cool, etc. The people we shared a room with were Big Boi and Paul Wall. Two rappers one who I love and one I don't know much about except that he has sick fake teeth. They were laying on the bed next to me and my buddy's watching an NBA game. I decided to chill with them and realized that even though they were adults, they were like kid-sized. I started watching the game and said something they thought was really funny and during that game Big Boi and I talked about marriage. I don't know why but we talked about relationship problems and getting married and stuff. We got really talkative and the next day they took off with us.

We travelled in a cart pulled by a donkey through a bunch of wheat fields. I pointed to this beautiful woods/grove and told everyone that that was where I asked Amanda to marry me (it wasn't but I even believed) and they were like, "nice." We rode for hours looking at the land and stuff until we got to a diner that was a mile long and kind looked like a huge Rally's. We went in and sat down to eat and Big Boi pulled me away from the table and asked me if he should get married, asked me about rings, God and all that. I felt very awesome because half of Outkast was my buddy now. The reason I'm a bit embarrassed was that from the first time I saw he was in our room, I really wanted to be his best friend. Awkward, huh?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Too much 24 + Too much Devendra Banhart = Awesome Dreams

Here's my first contribution. While I normally don't get the benefit of long narrative shaped dreams, I've been getting a lot of sleep lately which helps...

The dream started with a K-Mart being taken over by terrorists. I'm not real sure of the specifics but there were a bunch of guns and smoke grenades. I was working for some sort of security company where the primary part of our job was driving around in these cars and carrying these guns. One of my Wendella Boat captains was my partner and he was giving myself and another worker in another car a lecture about always taking breaks in such a way that we could hop back into the car at any moment. Apparently if a situation were to develop it was crucial that we be in the car. Anyway, he was giving us this lecture in the Walmart parking lot, across the way from the K-Mart that was just taken over. Also, there were a bunch of people standing outside the Walmart, I guess just hanging out and whatnot.

So we're just standing there, having a break, being in a position to easily re-enter the car if need be. At this point some of the terrorists from the K-Mart noticed all the people standing around outside the Walmart and decided to toss some grenades across the street at our parking lot. Noticing this and the forthcoming explosions that would come, I took of running as fast as I could away from the Walmart. The explosions started going off and I turned around (I was able to get out of the parking lot and into some grass) and noticed that while lots of things were burning, no one else had moved. There was some chaos, some burning people, but my partner was standing next to our security car with his arms crossed and he was shaking his head at me, ashamed that I abandoned the car. Knowing that I couldn't go back after making such a shameful decision I walked down this hill.

Somehow by the time I got down the hill everything turned into a different world. Everything was darker but it felt more like we were just inside (but in a building that was big enough to be set up like it was outside) and there weren't enough lights on. Once I got downstairs I met up with some dudes that were giving me an update on the current events. Apparently the terrorists were, according to my buddies, "mainstream" and they were declaring war on all the "hippy kids." As I came to find out, we were all apparently friends and the "mainstream" where our old friends who didn't like being hippies anymore and wanted to listen to different music and thought that the new Devendra record sucked. Yup.

So this war was raging, and many events unfolded, including several "attacks" with weapons that were more like paint ball then bullets. There was a huge shoot out where Greg Pupecki, another boss from Wendella Boats, was dressed like a clown. The culmination, though, was when word was received that Devendra was coming to town to do a concert with Six Organs of Admittance. Everyone was freaking out because apparently the "Mainstream" guys saw Six Organs of Admittance as one of their bands and we saw Devendra as our fearless leader. The people on our side couldn't believe Devendra liked Six Organs of Admittance. (as an aside, having seen these two in concert together a while ago, I would say that anyone liking Six Organs of Admittance in concert were at least a little crazy, though the albums are nice)

SO the battle was really heating up. I remember I was unhappy about it all because I liked some of the "Mainstream" guys, but was loyal to my hippy bros. There was an extended break in the fighting at which point the "Mainstream" guys decided to make a secret attack, leaving thier K-Mart station and sneaking into our complex. They found me all alone in the middle of the room and started throwing darts at me. I was eventually pinned to the ground with darts in every part of my body. It was actually pretty scary. The darts each had notes attached to them for everyone in our crew. They were all friendly make up sorts of notes. I woke up from my dart comma as the letters were being read and then everyone became friends and waited for Devendra to get there.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Hot for Teacher

I was dreaming that I was getting a tour of some town or something from my friend Sean from high school. We went to the principal of Amanda's school's house, who I've never met, only heard about. When we went in on her front door was a legal notice that she has killed 12 men for a 2000 dollar fine for each offense. She didn't care who knew. She would find men who had assaulted girls or just plain treated them badly, seduce them, and then bring em home and kill em. Bam! $2000, well spent. Well, Sean seemed like he was dating her which scared the heck outta me. So I ran out the door to the back yard where some of my friends and Amanda were there playing wiffle ball. Behind her house there was a mud field so I couldn't run that way. I grabbed Amanda and tried to leave but I kept having to go in for people in the game like to bat or to pitch, whatever. I told Amanda what her teacher was doing, and she was like "whatever". She didn't believe me. But I did get a triple...NOT!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Volleyball and breasts


A few nights ago I had a dream in which I played volleyball with Lindsay Lohan. All I can remember about the game is Lindsay (we're on a first name basis) wearing only a bra. She just kept running around, bouncing all over the place. I was then somehow in Huntington North High School. It was different than when I actually went to high school there, though. I was just walking through the halls and every time I saw a girl who was remotely good looking I just walked up to her and started molesting her. The strangest thing is that I kept walking up to girls, standing face to face, and putting my hands down the front of their shirts.
My unconscious mind must still be in 7th grade wanting to grab every girl I see just to see what it feels like. Or maybe I was the only one with that urge.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I put the "Ill" in Illegal


I'm on frickin' fire three for three. Last night I dreamed I was with the same cousins as last night but we lived together and Stacy was still in college with her other friends from college. She had these friends who lived together in this big big house. They were all very weird but funny. They would do stuff like have water balloon fights all the time and have spontaneous dancing parties. Wow, crazy huh? Anyway, for some reason my cousin Scott and I decided to go down to the park where we stumbled upon a street hockey game. We were like, "We got next," and got in on the next game. There were all these huge football players and all-around mean looking dudes. Then we go to face-off and Andy Vaught is the leader of their team. He is really mean and nasty and is very horrible to us and explains that this game is for a huge amount of money, which is soooo illegal, which makes me not like him. (I really really like Andy Vaught so tell him about this and let him know it's just a dream...a weird one.) So we get back from the game and go to this house where those girls are having a party. We're out of school and out of place so we go into the back room to watch tv while everyone is dancing and socializing. Then Andy shows up and all the people are like "Yaaayyy, Andy's here." Me and Scott (cousin) are like "He's not who he appears." But everyone gets pissed at us for accusing him of illegal street hockey. So we go into another room where this 4 year old girl is. Her mom is talking to us from the other room so we start to leave except that the little girls hair catches on fire. I watch for a second in disbelief that her mother isn't helping her, and after about three seconds I run over and put it out with my hands and shirt. She then starts loving me way too much and won't let go of my leg. I try to walk with her on my leg but it doesn't work because she's too heavy. Then Andy Vaught comes in the room and we all look at each other and we all say "It's cool, man." Then we hug and all is cool, man.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Muncie, Land of African Dreams


Last night was amazing. This picture isn't from my dream but don't you totally want to ride on that boat on the Yangtzee (sp)?

Alright, I was a 9 or ten year old African boy whose dad was a prince and we lived in the desert/mountains in a big mansion made out of a rock with grass for a roof. There was a serengheti tree growing on the roof. The inside of the mansion had all my young friends and most specifically my cousins and aunt & uncle. All the boys were playing in the cafeteria. (This place was kind of like a shopping mall with tons of stairs and no elevator.) Lots of windows and it wasn't hot like Africa would be. All of a sudden, David Allen Grier shows up to chase us kids like he's the clumsy bad guy out of a kids movie. We throw our food on him and he spills in the cafeteria and we all run to the stairs. The stairs are packed with people like in a mall but it's my house. Everyones wasting DAG down the stairs but he's still running hard. I hide and wait for him and trip him and slap him, don't know why, kids movie I guess. Then I sprint down the rest of the stairs and go out the double doors.

When we get outside we hide around the corner of the house where the river meets the pond. This part is awesome, we have a big pond beside our house which is perfectly clear and a big river running a few yards away. There is this awesome dragon in the river and the pond is full of amazing/scary as hell animals and I feel like they are gonna get us. Noone else can see that in the pond there are hippos, crocodiles and huge green snakes. My cousins keep wanting to go swimming but I keep them from doing so b/c of the scary animals. My aunt tries to walk out a ways and doesn't understand why she gets stuck about 3 feet out. She's stuck on a hippos back. So we link arms and pull her and the hippo out and then all of a sudden this heat wave comes and starts to dry up the pond. We all run around & around the pond while it disappears, but all the animals disappear as well. I find out that my dad got a raise and we all chant "Muncie, Muncie" because that's where we would all travel to with the extra money. Don't understand that part at all. Must be better than a mansion in Africa with dragons though.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Back to School Sale


Last night I dreamt that I had to back to high school. Not my high school, but Huntington North. And I still had to do my job at the same time. I drove with my grandparents to school on the first day and was greeted my Jana Henley (Mark knows who that is, I think she dated Andrew Lawrence in middle school). There was an underground parking garage that had so many spaces open but I couldn't decide which to use, plus most of them turned out to have the left or right turn only graphic painted in them so they weren't spaces, very frustrating. Needless to say my grandparents were late to class, as was I. Everyone in class had to sit in something like a stone pew shoulder to shoulder in some type of hole while the teacher taught us from above the hole. I kept flashing to my grandparents classroom which was all old coots talking really funny about Christmas movies. I also had that 70's Show Topher guy in my class and I asked him how he worked all day and still stayed in school. He was too crowded to want to talk.

I changed to another classroom that was the druggies classroom on the top floor of the parking garage, the teacher was passing around weed joints and everyone was smoking it and then some old guy did some cocaine off of a dust mop and died. Everyone ran out of the room because they heard the cops coming except some poor kid who tried to hide behind some stone column but they caught him.

So I left for the day at 3 to go to work for 8 hours. I couldn't find my grandparents so I left because I was late. When I got to work, it was locked and boarded up and I tried to pull off the boards because I would rather go to work than that high school. Well, I turned around and there was a christmas parade coming down the street right in front of me. Santa was on his huge sled with this crown/joker hat and looked back at me and said, "Matt, Christmas is in all of us." Then some old man, said "Do you need help getting in the building, it is Chrismas you know?" I just stared while he got out his keys and unlocked the wood planks and the doors and inside we reenacted the scene from It's A Wonderful Life at the end with the bell ringing and the people singing and giving money.

It's the question that drives us.















Last night I had a dream similar to one that I’d had before, but it was altogether different. It was set in this old abandoned building, very dark, which was like a warehouse or an old school or something... It had lots of stairs. Turned out the whole dream was pretty Matrix-esque. Matrix-esque in the fact that I could bend the rules of gravity, jump down hundreds of feet through the middle of stairwells without getting hurt, and take digital form and travel through land lines. There were all kinds of wires all over the place, and anywhere there was a set of lines that wasn’t covered by the rubber/plastic coating that most wires are protected by, you could clip in and go anywhere the lines went. Sometimes you ended up where you intended, and sometimes you didn’t. I was somehow affiliated with this group of young guys, all of whom could do the same things I could... It’s like we were the only ones who realized we could do these things and actually practiced them. And we were being run around by an evil force that was trying to exterminate us because we figured out we had these powers. Were we going to use them for good? I don’t know... I was too busy being chased around to know. But it was a nice change to be able to flip/fly/run/jump with reckless abandon, considering in most dreams I feel like I’m running through water with cement legs.