jc penney mall monster/outer space disaster

So there was this dream I had, which I liked so much that I said to Matt (in real life, though not vocally, but through email), "Matt, make me a member and I will tell you my dream!" And then I waited like days and days to get around to it, and now I have forgotten very important plot points, BUT STILL, I will tell you my dream. So hearken your ears, lift up your eyes and turn your hearts towards mine. Because this dream was a pilot, directed by God, and we're hoping it gets picked up next fall.

The show began in a shopping mall, which was fun, because I haven't been in a mall for a while now. It was a pretty sweet mall, too, in that it was an indoor mall, but there were no actual doors on the entrance-ways, just giant open spaces allowing wind and flowers and sunlight to mix with the people and the persons and the boys and girls. And also a huge atrium in the middle of the mall with birds flying in and out and trees and branches for birds and doves and boys and girls to rest on. Plus, there was absolutely no bird poop anywhere, which speaks to the awesomeness of this mall. Good job, janitors!

I wasn't shopping though; I never do that much in malls. Only on the internet. At the time, I was trying to find this one particular exit, which opened up to a grassy knoll. I have no idea where everyone parked, but it wasn't around the mall. Instead, the mall existed in a completely residential zone. Outside this particular doorway was a soccer field, with a high jump area on the side closest to the mall. There were a bunch of people next the to high jump area, wearing shorts and t-shirts and cheerleading uniforms and generally having a good time. Ben that worked in the HC library Barnes (thanks Erica!) and Kate Scott were there, and they came over to say hello. This was a pleasant surprise, as I had not seen them in three or four years. At some point, Adam Bouse suddenly showed up, and started telling us jokes. I can't remember any of them, but they were mostly David Letterman quality -- there were chuckles, but not guffaws, you know?

And then all hell began breaking loose from, you know, hell. And other hot places. Like my bathroom.

I ran back into the mall, for whatever reason I can't remember. It was darker inside now, even though it was still daylight out, and the indoor entrance to the JC Penney or Marshall Fields or whatever (you know, one of the anchor stores) had turned into the mouth of a monster that looked like one of those Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, only more gigantic. I was holding onto someone's hand real hard but I couldn't hang on and they got sucked into the monster's mouth. It was pretty bad all around. Then someone punched whole in the wall on my right and all the air rushed out through this hole. That was when I realized we were in outer space. And that the mall was a big spaceship. And it all made perfect sense.

So this one guy on the other side of the hole yelled at me to jump through, and it seemed like a really good idea, so I did.

After jumping, I was standing in a big yellow and white room with the guy/stranger. It was like an airlock on the outside of this ship, or one of those pressure chambers they put deep sea drivers in so that they won't get decompression sickness or the bends, except very bright, like the Wonkavision room in the original Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder. So the stranger said we needed to wait in the room until we got rescued. At first, that sounded like the best idea ever. Then I felt we needed to get out of that room right away. He said, "No." I said, "Yes." (I don't recall much dialogue from the dream.) Somehow, I was able to pry open one of the walls like one would an elevator door....you know, I just stuck my fingers in and it opened up. The stranger stayed inside and I left.

And now I'm on the moon, or at least a planet like the moon. The mall/spaceship was still there, but surrounding it was a gigantic carnival/bazaar/farmer's market, with games and booths and little markets of vegetables and breads and meats hanging on twine. But most of them were empty and unmanned, and kind of spooky. Adding to the spookiness were gangs of teenagers, who were wandering around at random, like myself, confused by the new surroundings.

After walking for a couple of minutes, I saw a cop and a school principal and a couple of kids from that Degrassi show on The N, and they were talking about how all the adults were dead. The school principal and the cop were very young, so I guess they didn't count. And apparently, I was a teenager again, too. So we started talking about ways to run the town, while standing on a moving sidewalk like the ones in the airport, and we talked as we moved around the mall/spaceship on the sidewalk. Though no one mentioned it, we all knew that the JC Penney monster might come back and attack us at any moment. Also, someone kept mentioning something about badges. Like, "If we had badges, none of this would have happened." Or "If we had badges, things would go much smoother." I don't know, exactly. And that's all I remember.

I really wish this were a TV show, because it was a pretty good pilot, all-in-all. I wish I remembered more from the beginning, before the birds and the trees and boys and the girls, but it was really vague until I got to the mall's atrium. Maybe I should have a prequel someday to clear things up. We'll see how it goes.