Sunday, March 05, 2006

I need an ambulance, STAT

So last night I was back in my old hometown, and I was on a little league baseball team. The thing was, I was my current age, but all the other kids were small. Every team was allowed to have one "old" kid, and I was it for my team. So as we were waiting before our game to take batting practice, one of the other "old kids" (who was actually a good friend of mine from high school) crushed a ball over the right field fence and drilled a little kid in the face. They decided he had to go to the hospital, and for some reason, I was the only one in town who knew how to drive an ambulance. So, we loaded the kid up in the back, but then when we (my old h.s. coach and I) got in to take off, it was like we were looking out the back of the ambulance. We had to open the back doors (which were really on the front, as it was) to drive away. Turns out EVERYTHING on the ambulance was backwards. And we couldn't figure out how to turn the damn sirens on.... all we had were the flashing lights. So consequently, people weren't pulling over to let us drive by. I had to just put the pedal to the floor & ram through people. I was actually able to dodge most of them by swerving in & out of traffic, but I Grand Theft Auto'ed a few cars. When we got there, I just drove the ambulance right into the waiting room. They unloaded the kid, and he turned out to be fine.... when they brought him back out, he just had a scratch above his eye. And I finally figured out how to use the sirens as I was waiting.... and I woke up some old bag who was sleeping in the waiting room. When we got back to the field, it was gone and my high school sat in its place. And when we got out of the ambulance, my coach and the kid were gone and 3 of my co-workers got out. The ambulance was all tricked out and we had to go back to work. Got to pay for it somehow, I guess.

1 comment:

wholegrain said...

Righteous Invasion of Truth. Have you seen that movie with Nicholas Cage as an amulance driver. You should watch it, freeeeeaky.