white swans = beauty and pain and barbara streisand = beauty and tears

i woke up in this very dark, distint room; there were angles and curves to the walls and ceilings. it was day time, but andy and i had sheets up on the windows, i suppose for optimal sleeping time. but i woke up, andy was still sleeping. i looked around the room, there was one bed and another cot of blankets on the floor. For some reason, i just knew that andy was living with jake and jonny. So, i walked into the kitchen and jonny was cleaning out the fridge, throwing away slimy and moldy things into the trash and jake was screaming at him about something. i stayed out of it; i did, however, did walk out side on this balcony thing that led to stairs. (side note, this apartment was not classy, i say balcony because i don't know what else a patio outside a door on the second floor could be).
now outside, i look up in this tree and there sat the most beautiful swan i had ever seen: EVER. OUtside was so vivid, everything was the greenest green. I said, "you are the most wonderful thing i have ever seen," as just a rhetorical thing and she answered back to me, "you think so? jake doesn't." i felt surprised that she answered, but it seemed normal. She flew away, and i screamed, "can you go sit in that tree at 3:00, my friend would love to see you." She obliged. Did i mention she was glorious?!
i ran inside just really excited, jake and jonny were still fighting and i was trying to tell them about this swan. they didn't listen to me.
later, my art teacher from high school was driving me around with a bunch of people i can't currently place. we drove by that tree and some guy in a uniform pulled out this skinny gun and shot her. i started screaming for him to stop the car and crying crying crying.
we stopped at this like rest area place, it was all pink inside with a bed... i kept looking at that tree and feeling a huge sense of guilt because i asked her to be there, and now some idiot shot her. crying to beat hell.. so i did what any girl would do, i stuck my head out the door and started screaming for barbara streisand from the bottom of mylungs, just screaming her name. and here she came running with a baby in tow. She finally got to me and hugged me and listened to me sob and cry about how it was my fault. she held me close and let me cry, like any dream barbara streisand would.