Friday, December 22, 2006

not again

i am at work just typing away at my computer when all of a sudden my bottom pointy tooth is loose. i automatically freak out because permanet teeth shouldn't be loose, but i don't tell anyone about it. i move it and it comes up and then down and i try to keep it down with my tongue. didn't work. it came out. and i held it up. it's root had decayed in my gums. i felt around the bottom of my mouth and i felt the next tooth was becoming loose. i just started bawling and the girls at work asked me what was wrong and i just held up my tooth. my boss was like, that happens to me all the time... and i said, no it doesn't all your teeth are in place.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

killer whale time

I was at this shelter of sorts with a few of my high school friends, the only one that stood out was my friend Leah McGaughy, now Alton. Whe and i were waiting on the band to start playing. We were just chattin it up, it was really hot and humid. When the band came in, it was our other friend from high school, casey anderson and her husband clint culberson. She played piano and he played guitar and sang. She had short hair, bangs and a handband on. They played, Leah started to do the cha cha line and started taking us around this shelter, turns out it was casey's house from high school with one exception, every room had beautiful, expensive blue tiles on the floor.
The next thing i remember is going outside with leah, casey and clint and we were walking around in this amazing rain forest, everything was SO SO green and sticky and hot, when we saw roller coaster tracks. we waited for the coaster to come along and sure enough it did. They stopped pedaling the coaster (that's how it was powered) right at a weird 90 degree turn, 90 degree turns are no good with jungle coasters. Cedric the Entertainer and my friend Natiya from 6th grade were on the coaster. We talked like it was no big deal. Casey then pointed down and said, "let's go there!"
There happened to be a canal of sorts, it was the craziest blue green sea EVER, it was a skinny canal that lead to the big sea. Cedric and i ran down and jumped in and i saw a white fish swimming towards me, it scared me and i said, "i hope i don't get stung by a jelly fish" Cedric said to me someting along the lines of, "don't worry about it, we get to the big blue sea and we can still be physical." (the still be physical part he said for sure).
next thing we knew all these fish started coming through the canal which now ran under a bridge. This tiny airplane, about the size of a dog, came through and came up right to me - this plane had organic features, like eyes and a freaking tail, but these things were still metal. Then a white dolphin came up to me, who had sort of a cleft palate of sorts and started nudging me like a cat. He was gorgeous. i spit water then he spit water and we laughed. then a killer whale came through, i tried to spit water at her, but no go at the mimicking me. She made me uneasy though because she was so big!!

it went on and on, but there was something with a baby on shore who was holding like a fairy fish and when the killer whale went to see her, she dropped the fairy fish because shewas scared and then casey had to go change the baby's diaper.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Jerkface


I had a dream that I decided to quit my job but I didn't have a new job lined up. The only thing I could think of to do was substitute teaching. Since I had already been a substitute in the past I thought I would just be able to call and start getting jobs like I used to. When I called the sub service there was a recording that told me I was not welcome to be a teacher any more because several students had complained that I emotionally abused them.
Am I that mean?

white swans = beauty and pain and barbara streisand = beauty and tears

i woke up in this very dark, distint room; there were angles and curves to the walls and ceilings. it was day time, but andy and i had sheets up on the windows, i suppose for optimal sleeping time. but i woke up, andy was still sleeping. i looked around the room, there was one bed and another cot of blankets on the floor. For some reason, i just knew that andy was living with jake and jonny. So, i walked into the kitchen and jonny was cleaning out the fridge, throwing away slimy and moldy things into the trash and jake was screaming at him about something. i stayed out of it; i did, however, did walk out side on this balcony thing that led to stairs. (side note, this apartment was not classy, i say balcony because i don't know what else a patio outside a door on the second floor could be).
now outside, i look up in this tree and there sat the most beautiful swan i had ever seen: EVER. OUtside was so vivid, everything was the greenest green. I said, "you are the most wonderful thing i have ever seen," as just a rhetorical thing and she answered back to me, "you think so? jake doesn't." i felt surprised that she answered, but it seemed normal. She flew away, and i screamed, "can you go sit in that tree at 3:00, my friend would love to see you." She obliged. Did i mention she was glorious?!
i ran inside just really excited, jake and jonny were still fighting and i was trying to tell them about this swan. they didn't listen to me.
later, my art teacher from high school was driving me around with a bunch of people i can't currently place. we drove by that tree and some guy in a uniform pulled out this skinny gun and shot her. i started screaming for him to stop the car and crying crying crying.
we stopped at this like rest area place, it was all pink inside with a bed... i kept looking at that tree and feeling a huge sense of guilt because i asked her to be there, and now some idiot shot her. crying to beat hell.. so i did what any girl would do, i stuck my head out the door and started screaming for barbara streisand from the bottom of mylungs, just screaming her name. and here she came running with a baby in tow. She finally got to me and hugged me and listened to me sob and cry about how it was my fault. she held me close and let me cry, like any dream barbara streisand would.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

jc penney mall monster/outer space disaster


So there was this dream I had, which I liked so much that I said to Matt (in real life, though not vocally, but through email), "Matt, make me a member and I will tell you my dream!" And then I waited like days and days to get around to it, and now I have forgotten very important plot points, BUT STILL, I will tell you my dream. So hearken your ears, lift up your eyes and turn your hearts towards mine. Because this dream was a pilot, directed by God, and we're hoping it gets picked up next fall.

The show began in a shopping mall, which was fun, because I haven't been in a mall for a while now. It was a pretty sweet mall, too, in that it was an indoor mall, but there were no actual doors on the entrance-ways, just giant open spaces allowing wind and flowers and sunlight to mix with the people and the persons and the boys and girls. And also a huge atrium in the middle of the mall with birds flying in and out and trees and branches for birds and doves and boys and girls to rest on. Plus, there was absolutely no bird poop anywhere, which speaks to the awesomeness of this mall. Good job, janitors!

I wasn't shopping though; I never do that much in malls. Only on the internet. At the time, I was trying to find this one particular exit, which opened up to a grassy knoll. I have no idea where everyone parked, but it wasn't around the mall. Instead, the mall existed in a completely residential zone. Outside this particular doorway was a soccer field, with a high jump area on the side closest to the mall. There were a bunch of people next the to high jump area, wearing shorts and t-shirts and cheerleading uniforms and generally having a good time. Ben that worked in the HC library Barnes (thanks Erica!) and Kate Scott were there, and they came over to say hello. This was a pleasant surprise, as I had not seen them in three or four years. At some point, Adam Bouse suddenly showed up, and started telling us jokes. I can't remember any of them, but they were mostly David Letterman quality -- there were chuckles, but not guffaws, you know?

And then all hell began breaking loose from, you know, hell. And other hot places. Like my bathroom.

I ran back into the mall, for whatever reason I can't remember. It was darker inside now, even though it was still daylight out, and the indoor entrance to the JC Penney or Marshall Fields or whatever (you know, one of the anchor stores) had turned into the mouth of a monster that looked like one of those Mooninites from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, only more gigantic. I was holding onto someone's hand real hard but I couldn't hang on and they got sucked into the monster's mouth. It was pretty bad all around. Then someone punched whole in the wall on my right and all the air rushed out through this hole. That was when I realized we were in outer space. And that the mall was a big spaceship. And it all made perfect sense.

So this one guy on the other side of the hole yelled at me to jump through, and it seemed like a really good idea, so I did.

After jumping, I was standing in a big yellow and white room with the guy/stranger. It was like an airlock on the outside of this ship, or one of those pressure chambers they put deep sea drivers in so that they won't get decompression sickness or the bends, except very bright, like the Wonkavision room in the original Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder. So the stranger said we needed to wait in the room until we got rescued. At first, that sounded like the best idea ever. Then I felt we needed to get out of that room right away. He said, "No." I said, "Yes." (I don't recall much dialogue from the dream.) Somehow, I was able to pry open one of the walls like one would an elevator door....you know, I just stuck my fingers in and it opened up. The stranger stayed inside and I left.

And now I'm on the moon, or at least a planet like the moon. The mall/spaceship was still there, but surrounding it was a gigantic carnival/bazaar/farmer's market, with games and booths and little markets of vegetables and breads and meats hanging on twine. But most of them were empty and unmanned, and kind of spooky. Adding to the spookiness were gangs of teenagers, who were wandering around at random, like myself, confused by the new surroundings.

After walking for a couple of minutes, I saw a cop and a school principal and a couple of kids from that Degrassi show on The N, and they were talking about how all the adults were dead. The school principal and the cop were very young, so I guess they didn't count. And apparently, I was a teenager again, too. So we started talking about ways to run the town, while standing on a moving sidewalk like the ones in the airport, and we talked as we moved around the mall/spaceship on the sidewalk. Though no one mentioned it, we all knew that the JC Penney monster might come back and attack us at any moment. Also, someone kept mentioning something about badges. Like, "If we had badges, none of this would have happened." Or "If we had badges, things would go much smoother." I don't know, exactly. And that's all I remember.

I really wish this were a TV show, because it was a pretty good pilot, all-in-all. I wish I remembered more from the beginning, before the birds and the trees and boys and the girls, but it was really vague until I got to the mall's atrium. Maybe I should have a prequel someday to clear things up. We'll see how it goes.

where are we - separately

andy and i were in a store very similar to hobby Lobby or michaels looking at crafty things when all of a sudden, i don't really remember anything but being dragged away. then nothing for a bit. except that after a while i woke up in this house. a strange house that i had absolutely no knowledge of... i had a white t shirt on and my favorite sweats, the floors were all wooden and it was early evening, as i could tell because of the way the sun was shining in the windows. everything was very mysterious and i had no idea where i was, where andy was or anything. i walked around in bare feet being really afraid. i remembered that i had my cell phone, so i called andy and asked him where he was, he sounded very confused and he replied that he had no idea.
i remember feeling very confused and afraid.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

So Tasty!


My wife wanted me to post this, so others could revel in the sheer madness that consumes her dreams:

She was at a party, and there were finger-foods & other munchies there. There was shrimp cocktail, which looked good to her, so she went to grab one. But there, as the "shrimp" were several Teen Queens (Hillary Duff, the Olson Twins, etc.) posing as the shrimp. My wife looked at their tiny little features and began to wonder if she should feel bad for eating them, but decided it was okay because they were so delightfully crunchy!

I'm gonna sleep with padding on from now on....

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Bahhhbara

So I had this dream that me & a young Barbara Streisand (why Barbara Streisand was in my dream, I have no effin' idea... I haven't seen a photo/show/movie with her in it lately and I haven't thought about her in any way/shape/form.... like, ever) were quite the item... but it turns out the only reason she was famous was because her dad was Eric Clapton.

Apparently I had connections.