winsome and then some

Our basketball team was coached by my boss at work, and he and his wife took us all to this cool comics shop. They bought me this hugely oversized deck of playing cards with various knights and armed soldiers on the backs- die cut with swords sticking out the top,etc. I said that it was really nice but one of those things I'd probably never use, could I choose a comic instead?
They said I could. So I finally decided on a strange, foreign but awesome-looking title and ran it up to the register.
When the guy handed me back my book, I realized that I'd accidentally grabbed a leather bound, gilded edged copy of part of the Old Testament - bummer!

Also: there was a race through this intricate maze of dense framing (2-by-4s EVERYWHERE!!!) through floor after floor of a giant building under construction. when we reached the basement area, there was a hockey/soccer type game involving throwing bricks into a fireplace (complete with crackling fire). I was losing most of the earlier race but totally dominating the fire-brick game. There was also some coleslaw being thrown into the fire, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't worth as much as a brick goal.

He Hate Me

Satellite feed to my brain, "Wreck shop, brain!"

So, last night I loved to be a hated hero. I had just moved to this small town where the only one I knew was this diving instructor at the school. I went to visit him at the pool and he started giving me the lowdown on the town. What was cool, where to be, go, hang. You know the routine. He tells me that the soccer team needs a new player because their star got hurt and he heard that I was pretty good. I told him that I hadn't played soccer for like 8 or 9 years and he said "Good Enough." So I went to the game which was at this huge stadium and the teams were awesome and thousands of people were there. I asked the coach if they needed anyone and he put a shirt on me and I played in my jeans for the town team which was like a pro team. Well, after I scored two goals and won the game for us, one of my teammates asked my name and if I wanted to be friends. I said yes. Everyone else was so mad that I was the new hero.

So, at the town meeting in the school/church/city hall building like in Hoosiers, half the people were saying, "We have to get that Matt outta here." The other half were like, "Naw, he's alright. Just let him stay, but don't talk to him." I could tell barely anyone liked me so I said, "What do I have to do, here?" They were like, "Play in the county football championship against the Barnthugs."(I think that was the other teams name, maybe not.) It was like a pickup game in someone's back yard with real tackling like when we were kids. Except all the other team was horrible mean criminal road warrior badass type tough guy biker dudes and the game was mostly about hurting our town's team. I said, "I'll do it." (I always want everyone to like me.)

We get to the game and the other team talked so much trash and cheated and took cheap shots all the time. Half our team was injured in the first half and I suck at football. Anyway, at one point I get thrown to and catch a pass and this guy with a spiked dog collar head butts me in the nose. My nose starts gushing blood like a faucet and I start laughing. This, in turn, freaks out the mean guy who also starts laughing because he's confused. Pretty soon I'm best of buds with their whole team and making jokes and everyone is having a good time.

Friendship wins. But I think the town still hated me.

Where've You Been?

Damn, son! Where've the dreams been. Nobody cares? I've got an excuse. I hadn't had any of note for awhile. Until this weekend. Whoa!

1. Amanda as a really responsible social weed smoker.
2. Flying in a hanglider videotaping other stunt guys doing like rocketman stunts with flying squirrels and monkeys bigger than me jumping from tree to tree.
3. On the Mayflower.
4. Standing on a 2 foot wide boat dock swatting jumping pirhanas out of mid-air as they increasingly grow in size and jumping ability.
5. Lots of hiking in purple places.

I'm so mad because I had like 6 dreams each Friday and Saturday night and didn't write them down to remember. They were better than those but, you know how it is.

once

i had a dream i was engaged.



























o wait.

not zipper!

with my job, i become very attached to people.. and their pets:

i was in a vet's office with one of my clients who convinced me to take her there to put her cat, zipper, down. why?? i couldn't believe this. zipper is a great cat. well, she just didn't want to have to take care of a cat and her baby. so, i was so sad. i tried to tell her that i would take zipper and give him a caring, lovely home. She said this is what has to be done. the vet came in and instead of giving him the death shot, he just covered zipper's nose and mouth with a cloth that had chemicals on it. zipper didn't die right away. he was suffering. i was yelling for him to come to me so i could comfort his last minutes.. and he was mewing and staggering towards me.

i woke up crying.

One To Remember

Ok, I have not posted often, but last night I had a dream to post...

First what should be noted about this dream is that while I was dreaming I kept thinking (IN THE DREAM) that I had to post this for Matt...weird enough.

So I was at Huntington, in Becker hall to visit Norrie, and they were having a Christmas party. But where Norrie's office should have been, there was this huge open office and Cathy, his secretary was there, but Norrie was not. There was a big Christmas tree and Norrie had made a cut-out of himself that was bigger than life size, but only out of paper board, so it was like a white silhoutte, and it was decorating the Christmas tree. And there were all these old ladies that were nicely offering me great desserts, but getting mad at me for making a mess if I ate them...

Then a limo roles up and I get in, I have no idea where I walked to get to the limo, but it was just right there. We instantly were driving through some ghetto where there were all these guys playing basketball on a street corner. My cousin got out of the car and started to play ball, while I just watched. Then I got in another limo and I was in there with a Character from Arrested Development. I think he was Uncle Jake, Martin Short with no use of his legs. Only he was able bodied when we started to drive. We stopped at this place that was like a pontoon ride at an amusement park, but it was like a little river in the ghetto we were still in, going over and between all the trashy buildings. An alligator attacked us, and I got away, but the Martin Short guy had his legs in the alligator mouth hanging from a building trying to get away when I woke up.

Wedding Crashers

Last weekend I was at a marriage conference with Amanda so this was on my mind.

I dreamed that a few of our friends were hanging out at a bar like Club Soda or something and decided that Amanda and I should just get married that afternoon. We totally agreed and Amanda put on this totally beautiful dress and we started to get ready for the wedding. We called our families and friends and were setting up this cool wedding in the middle of the main street in the town we were in. Jordan and Stephen were just playing with tablecloths and drinking wine all day but it was awesome. Some drunk lady in the bar congratulated us by giving us her wine bottle with 1/4 of the wine left and it was actually a really nice gesture in my mind. I gave that to Phillips too. People weren't showing up and strangers and pedestrians were sitting down for the wedding when we decided to have a parade to the wedding. It was sweet, there was a marching band, floats, Amanda, friends, not friends, tons of awesome. My ex-girlfriend showed up and I was actually nice to her and she was happy for me. Everything was so "whatever happens" and sick awesomely comfortable and beautiful. At one point the preacher and choir started the ceremony and me and Amanda yelled "Not yet." Our parents weren't there. Actually was the first happy dream I've had in a long time. Sooo happy.